Friend or Foe

Et tu, Bruté?

Sometimes the things we hold dearest to us are the things that hurt us the most. And, the pain we feel from being betrayed can last a lifetime. When you believe someone has done wrong to you, it can change how you see the world. You may become more protective and mistrusting of the world. On the other end, some people begin to hurt others so they don’t feel alone. As the saying goes, “misery loves company.” If you have ever had a discussion with someone who betrayed you, they are usually unable to provide an answer to why. However, if they can, would that excuse their behavior? Probably not, their excuse for the betrayal simply creates more negative emotions for you.

One aspect for discussion regarding betrayal, is the feeling of being taken advantage of by someone close to you. When you feel like you have been taken advantage of, it creates a host of complicated feelings that can be difficult to articulate. For example, you may be hurt, angry, sad, confused, disappointed, or surprised just to name a few. We like to give people the benefit of the doubt, which can lead us to miss warning signs. We all have internal intuition that could help us understand the intentions of others. We ignore our gut instincts as a way to believe the things we want to believe. Our mind finds it difficult to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. If you believe you’ve been betrayed by someone close to you, here are some things you can do:

Look at the facts of the situation

Talk to the person you believe has betrayed you, if possible

If you’re wrong about what happened…it’s okay. However, if you’re right, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Be assertive NOT aggressive

Actively listen

Take ownership of your role in what happened

Write out what you’ve learned and how to avoid similar situations in the future

We’re interested to know your thoughts on this topic. Comment below to keep the conversation going.